As the lrt came up to the station, i couldn't help but feel the anxiety,
as adrenalin pumps through my body,
i stepped out, and i felt a distinct feeling,
a feeling i haven't felt in a while,
i took the escalator down, just like i had done hundreads of times before,
i could hear their merry voices,
laughing away,
and as i approached the building,
i noticed something,
something rather awkward,
almost wrong,
the building i spent so much time in,
is now......ORANGE!!!!

I went back to school the other day, i must say, it looks pretty nice,
the new block isn't quite done yet but its really taking shape,
they basically moved all the upper sec to the new block and now the form 3's n 2's are occupying the old new block, the really old block houses all the little ones with all their little things,
its pretty weird really, its like stepping into a time zone,
i actually still a bit stiff when i walk into the office,
its like a freaking presence man,
btw, the office had a face lift man, they moved it to the new new block,
and their doing renovations on the old block now.

It was pretty cool walking down the hallway again,
very nostalgic, its like deja vu all over again,
i had a few weird glances from the students,
it took them a while to figure out who i was, must've been the hair cut =),
even hayats and leong had to stare at me for a while,
talked to a couple of people, the prefects look pretty slick i must say,
they're new unifrom is sooooo much better than ours,
CURSES!!!

I had a nice chat with Pn. Noor,
she's still Pn. Noor, still telling me bout the prefects and all the mishaps and the shit that happens within the prefect's,
i sat in for the interact meeting,
it was sooo freaking funny, i walked in as Zabs was scolding them, then she seemed to potong steam for a while,
they've already selected the form 4's which i must say is really fast,
its really funny seeing zabs scold the form 4's, so surreal, brings back fond memories =),
stayed back a while to talk to zabs,
she was telling me how all the teachers are all scattered now,
like jamaliah and haslina moved out of the tudung gang's fortress,
and how the interact club is giving her so much trouble...where have i heard that before eh...

Left school at around 5 ish,
i must say, it was really a trip down memory lane,
its nice to see the school's changing for the better,
it looks much better than when i came in 6 years ago,
i still miss the school a bit i guess,
just a little bit,
at the corner of my heart =)

So thats bout it for now really, i've gotta pack!!!!
so till next time....

p.s. 4 days and counting =S

Your voice echoes through my head,

Its been a while since i thought of you,

But how unforgettable your voice is,

So resounding,

So loud,

Oh! How unforgettable your voice is.

I went shopping yesterday for what else..underwear.

I'm proud to say that i have more than enough underwear to last me for 3 WEEKS even WITHOUT having to WASH ANY =), and i have to thank my personal bank account i.e. my mum for everything =)

So i went out to ampang point again today for a different reason obviously, i wanted to see whether any one of the 3 electronics shops can repair an i pod, unsuprisingly none of them could, i'm begining to wonder whether investing on an i pod is really worth it.

FIRSTLY: 940 bucks a pop for a nano 4GB=not very cheap seeing as the zen's 4GB player is 700++

SECONDLY: there's no legal waranty but you have to get it online, how inconvinient is that!

THRID: once the battery dies, as in really dies, your freaking screwed, i mean there's no freaking way you'd be able to get it to work agian except by wiping out the memory and redownload ALL your songs.

FOURTH: you can't ABSOLUTELY can't repair it UNLESS you go to a stupid apple center

*)_(JJHJ^i*^*&^$vjkf^do^de&(%UJGYPI!!!!!!

So anyway, i went to the shop right and i ask this guy, so he says no, but he says you can go to great eastern mall cause there's an apple center there, so i says okay and thanks,

so i walk myself down the floors and i'm heading towards the door right then i think to myself,"Hey, your not busy, you've got time PLENTY of time right, seeing as you got SOOOO MUCH TIME just go to great eastern mall la!!", so i hop into a cab and says to him,"Great Eastern Mall please!!", so i get my ass there paid about 4 bucks and i walk in, so i go straight to the receptionist and i says," Excuse me, where's the apple center?", she stares at me, then she says,"Sorry, we had one but not anymore", BKIO%*&%*^%#eipoufvb!!!!

So anyway, i decided since i got myself there anyway, i might as well stay,

honestly its a pretty dead place, there's really nothing much there, there's a couple of restaurants, starbucks, a few sports shop, a couple of hair dressers and thats bout it, there's hardly anyone there really, personally i think its all really a waste of space, but hey thats just personally, i got myself a frappucino (i think thats how you spell it) and got back,

i suppose i'll try low yat plaza next but meh, abit too lazy to get my ass there.

Was talking to ailin a couple of days ago and i've finally decided on what to get sam and rach, no its not underwear altough that would've been a wicked idea if i had the guts to go into a shop and get ladies lingirie but something more conventional and edible, so 3 guesses to what it is eh.

On another note, i went out with rach, ailin, adam, xilin and hanna the other day and we were fussing on what to watch when adam came up with the greatest idea, instead of bickering on what to watch we'd lat it out, we eventually watched pathfinder, which was a crappy show, but the action sequences where pretty good but anyway, don't watch it in a cinema unless you want blood and more blood and gory scenes, it was funny though cause the girls kept going "OOOHHH O.O" and "NOOO" when someones limb gets chopped off, oh and of course i swallowed a gum, lovely fun eh.

So thats bout it really, i'm still rotting at home, but i'm going back to school tomorrow..wOOhOO,

so till next time....

p.s. 6 days and counting

I feel like a sinking ship, slowly taking in water, too slow for anyone to realise but steady enough.

I was siting around in the buggy in the middle of the golf course today halfly reminising on my really lousy golf game, suddenly, i thought of timothy(quek kai liang-timmy old boy-the one thats in my class which is also a librarian, although you'll prolly never read this hi matie!) and i thought to myself what would he be like in the next 10 years, prolly slightly thinner, shorter hair, grad from med school doing his internship,
then i thought about alex and i saw him as this dude prolly working in some hotel organising dinner functions and all those pretty little gala events you see on tv,
then i thought of what i would be like in 10 years...and i went blank...

Its a scary prospect thinking about your own future, when it comes to other people's its easy, you just say "aw he's gonna be a soso" but to yourself, not that easy, i sometimes think about what i'd be in 10 years, mostly wishful stuff, dreams and hopes.

Starting to pack, *Finally!! what my mum said when i told her*, i've realised that i somehow don't have enough underwear...not a very good prospect especially if your living alone for 9+ months, so i'm gonna go out shopping tomorrow to get me underwear!! and other items which are essential to me, but my ipod's still screwed!! *sigh* i suppose i've gotta get it fixed but where??!!..no apple electronic outlets near my house..*double sigh*

I suppose thats bout it really, i still have to finish packing so till next time...btw wat should i get sam and rach?? suggestions??

Close your eyes,

Dry your tears,

Cause when nothing,

Seems clear,

You'll be safe here,

From the sheer weight,

Of your doubts and fears,

Weary heart,

You'll be safe here.

I was wondering, maybe i'll get one of those bean couches when i get to melbourne, the kinds where you can just sink into and sorta feel like your sorta drowning but in a good way.

Only 10 days till i leave, on a concious level, i am sorta ready,

actually i've been ready for quite sometime now, just waiting on the days to pass really, the thing bout me is you build this sense of detachment,

it happened when i left as vice cap and resigned as pres of the interact club, and you find that you disassociate yourselves from these things rather quickly, if you were me la anyways, i don't know whether its a good thing or not but it just is, it happens all the time, like when people are crying over leaving school and not seeing their friends i didn't really bother, happened in primary school, and its happening again.

Sometimes i wonder why it happens, how can we just let go so easily,

how can i let go so easily, sometimes i don't want to forget and i want to feel what its like to really care for someone or thing and not want it to leave, meh, then again maybe not, sometimes i see people crying when

others leave and to a certain extent i get it, but otherwise i don't,

maybe its cause of the lack of closeness the "no clique" policy that i seem to have, meh, thinking too much again.

Neways i went out with prisham and adam on tues, we watched the guardian, to be honest it was pretty alright, much better than i expected it to be, i wouldn't say its the best la but its pretty alright,

whether its cinema worthy or not its totally subjective, if you like ashton kutcher and seeing his body then go ahead otherwise just get the dvd.

Personally, i just wanted to leave the house, a man can only watch so much tv, got to talk and hang abit which was good,

we ran into carmen while we where there, apparently she's working in a häagen-dazs shop somewhere which was cool, if only she'd tell me where..then i could get free ice-cream =D..mmmm...free ice-cream=D=D.

This actually reminds me of another topic but maybe next time,

neways next on the list: pack pack pack...

I was thinking of really decorating my room when i get there, maybe a couple of sofa's maybe a cofee table, a few lava lamps maybe, meh,

then again i'd prolly be to busy lazy, i've been sorta prepping myself,

basically reading the o levels and a levels books, i tell you the physics is crazy man, what we do here is shit compared to the sums the singaporeans do, no wonder they're so bloody kia su, and boyle's law and charles law (more commonly know as hukum boyle dan charles) is in chem, *sigh* i tell you the malaysian edu system....indescribable.

Neways i think thats bout it,

i'll be going to sam's and rachel's praty so thats bout the last time i'll be here till prolly october (just so ya know =D)

When the light dissappears,

And when this worlds insincere,

You'll be safe here,

When nobody,

Here's you scream,

I'll scream with you,

You'll be safe here.

-You'll be safe here-

Rivermaya

Greetings and salutations, i'm back again.

I've been rather busy lately, actually not really la but somewhat busy.

I was back in johor bahru last week for my granpa's 80th birthday, it was a pretty big occasion cause pretty much everyone came,
even my aunt form asutralia came and she brought along her little kids,
actually there not little, actually they're pretty big, actually they're really big, then you got people form s'pore then some from kl, dinner was pretty good but nothing special really, just chinese food,
i COULD put pictures but i'm just to damn lazy..XD.

Just read sarah's blog and i totally agree with her, sometimes we just get caught in a what to say situation,
i mean you want to console your pal but you just don't know how,
then you start thinking what if i say something that might make it worse,
then you start thinking of something else to say,
and then you decide not to say something,
and by the time you decide to say something, he's already alright...
i suppose thats why i don't talk much when someone complains to me.

So everyone's off to college now, at least most of us are,
i feel kinda lonely,
the other day i was in jb and looked at my watch and realised it was 2.30 on a thursday, then i realised that i would be having zab's class if i were at school,
thats when it hit me,
i don't have shool anymore,
at first i felt a sense of liberation but then i realised i missed school,
then i remembered that i do have school,
just at a different place with different people in a foreign land,
and the more i think bout it the more it scares me,
the fact that i'd be alone for 10 months scares me even more,
plus i'm not ready yet, i haven't even got what i need yet..=S

I think australia will really be an experience for me,
not only cause i'm gonna study everything in english,
but cause i'll be alone for 10 months,
you want independence, this is it man,
it don't get any better than this,
prepared or not i'm definitely leaving so...

Well thats that for now..btw I have NOT LEFT YET...
I AM LEAVING ON THE 22 OF JANUARY..22 OF JANUARY 2007!!

Christmas is red, but i am blue

I've been fine.

People've asked me why do i blog so sparsely then suddenly start blogging so often,
the answer is i don't know, to me blogging is about writing something meaningful and worth sharing instead of just ranting,
of course then there's also the fact that i'm too blardy lazy half the time la but that hardly counts.

So neways, we had prom a couple of weeks ago,
i must say, i've done lots of thinking about prom, and finally decided that it was pretty alright, i know some of you think it rocks and it was the best time you ever had and possibly ever will for the rest of your short or long lives but hey, bear with me,
i just imagined my prom slightly different,
i gave my speech, noone cried but then again with half the people talking while i was giving the speech i gave up a liltle.

So christmas's here, the time where it's better to give than it is to recieve,
meh..frankly i like receiving and i like it to stay that way,
but lately i find christmas rather lame, or stiff.
I mean its nothing like it used to be,
i mean yea..we get together and have a meal and go for mass, thats right,
i only go to chruch twice and christmas is one of them,
what happened to the thrill and excitement, some how i don't feel it anymore, christmas has become just another day of the year, boring,
and when i look back i feel kinda sad,
i want christmas to be like in the movies, magic, mystery, santafied,
meh..i guess it'll never happen, i think i've officially out grown christmas.

Balik kampunged this christmas to JB,
the flood is really bad btw, its pretty much flooded pretty bad along the highways, i even saw these kids pissing in the water cause their house was flooded..=S..
we had bbq, it was alright, didn't really do much, sat round, ate a bit, watched tv, then went back.

I have approximately 30 more days till i leave for Melbourne,
i don't know if i'm ready yet or not,
i want to leave,
but with a heavy heart,
there are so many things i haven't said,
maybe it'll never be heard.

So merry christmas guys and till next time...

Post SPM!!!

Its over!!!

Yup thats right baby!!
No more freaking exams for me, well at least till next year.
I haven't quite figured our what to do with my books yet, i know i'm definitely burning the papers, but books...not so sure, my conscience tells me not too but then again i don't listen to my conscience much so..
I've realised now that SPM's over, i'm actually quite bored. Honestly, i've got nothing to look forward too, i mean, i'm never gonna go futsal unless they have it in Ampang or Aiman suddenly decides to give me a lift,
watching a movie seems rather vague, maybe when eragon comes out,
hanging out is just really hard cause lets face it, everyone else lives somewhere besides Ampang, sides i doubt anyone wants to hang with me.

I find it rather ironic, that in the 5 years i've been in school i've never really belonged or been assosiated to with a clique, or maybe secretly i am but am utterly oblivious and unaware of it,
which would make me a very ignorant little boy,
but for as long as i remember, i haven't, unless the world has flipped and left me on its underside,
i've never been in petty clique arguements or gossips, but i suppose its a good thing, but then again it depends on how you look at it, i mean its good in a sense that you don't get tangled up in unnescessary mess,
but then we tend to miss the closeness and the knowing that we can depend on people who'd always be there,
maybe somethings are just meant to be missed.

Celebrated freedom today by watching Casino Royale.
I must say its pretty good, so much has been said bout Daniel Craig and his acting but i find him to be pretty good,
one of the best bonds in fact,
he's got the pompous, cold hearted, idontgiveashit kinda look,
but he also shows some vulnerability and i think thats whats been lacking in most bond flicks,
the plot in my opinion is slightly retarded, but the action scenes make up for it, definitely a grittier film then its predecessors,
i'd definitely recomend it whether you're a bond buff or not,
also one to be seen in the cinema.

"Vodka martini"
"Shaken or stirred?"
"Do i look like i give a damn!"

I had a rather interesting conversati0n with Shawn in the train regarding what i should do with my hair for prom,
according to him, i should consider "making it all stand",
hmm..not too sure bout that but considering,
despite his rather sinister reassurance that the idea would prove to be quite good, i'm not too sure bout it,
i suppose we'll just have to be suprised, decisions decisions decisions...

Vesper Lynd: That's why i'm going to keep my eyes on the money and not on your finely toned arse.
Bond: You noticed.

I was studying, like any good boy +)..
then i realised....TWO MORE MOTHER !@()^&#&^& DAYS!!!!*inhales and exhales rapidly and suddenly remembering that hormon adrenalina causes sudden excitement and anxiety*

So i'm pretty psyched now, seriously can't wait, even my freaking hands are sweating just thinking bout it, so tommorows the 7th day my grandpa passed, there's gonna be a 7th day rememberance,
or something likedat, apparently it takes 7 days for the soul to reach its destiny, my mum was pretty fascinated by the whole ordeal,
apparently they had a whole bunch of chinese opera people at the furneral for 5 days i think,
they were supposedly displaying his life, how he got to be who he was and all that stuff, i was rather intrigued cause i don't remember that happening when my granduncle passed, its really interesting how different cultures have different ways of celebrating the dead,
my mum said i should've gone but i kinda scorned at the idea, but then again it might've been a good idea.

Btw to my very few and rather phethetic audience, ai lin and rachel are back with a brand new trip.
Yup, its Cherating and its haapening on the 27-30 of December.
She says not to ask who's coming but we have to pay a downpayment of 100 bucks by Prom night.
More details will come soon.

Btw, i bought the new MCR album,
and i TOTALLY ROCKS!!!
love it to blits man, its much better than they're last album, slightly less heavier on the melody but very deep lyrically, i think they're best by far.
I realise that there are just so much crap out there nowadays,
on one corner you've got the rappers with cheap girls and blings and "sparklies", ever notice how repetative the entire ordeal is, flinging money and girls shaking booties, i honestly don't know how that works,
then you've got girls trying to sell their bodies, *sigh*...

Well thats that for now,
must be studying my bio now,
eventhough detest towards the subjects all i feel,
but,
the book calls,
as guilt sets in,
i must leave,
so till next time....

Cause the hardest part is leaving you-cancer,mcr

So long grandaddy

So its been more than a month.

I've been fine, incase you were wondering,
SPM's coming to an end, thats always good i guess, biology to go and thats that as they say,
as for those taking bk or econs sorry, not my problem,
i think i'ma burn my books and all the papers after SPM, just for the fun of it,
i was going to say throw the ashes in the sea but then i realised that the sea is relatively far from where i live, but still.

My grandpa passed away,
old age they say, 90 y.o. i think,
pretty long age eh, but sometimes i think, do you really have to live till your 90,
i've always thought it was just as excuse, prolonging the enevitable fact of death,
but hey, i could be wrong,
he passed on monday, round 7.30-ish i think,
i was trying to think of some fond memories i could remmeber him by, but i struggled,
cause nothing much came up, all i remember doing was calling out to him, "le ho bo?"-are you alright in teochew, then he'd mumble something which i always tought was unaudible but understood was a yes, but then again thats just the way he was,
a quiet man, but i suppose he was a nice man, maybe even kind, but i guess i never really knew,
will i miss him? i don't know, but you come to admire chinese culture really, we remember the person not by mourning but by celebrating, hence thats why we play cards and joke about when were supposed to cry, ofcourse we cry, but then we also laugh,

The trips are all pouring in, everyone's trying to set up trips here and there, in all honesty its all in vain if you ask me, but hey, whatever makes them happy eh,
i've also got my little trip thing going on but i doubt anyone wants to go to golok with me,
but its all good, i suppose it'll be another boring holiday coupled by another year of gruelling hardwork and tiring exams, sigh, but so is the life of thomas,
i've deicided that i'ma go on a road trip one of these days, maybe mexico, that'd be nice,
i suppose for now i'll have to settle for afternoon with friends and movie dates,

Well, thats it for me, be joyous guys!! SPM'S ALMOST OVER!!! Its so FREAKING CLOSE I CAN TASTE IT!!!! Taste kinda salty, and kenny might agree, till next time..

ps.
you HAVE to watch the latest KFC chicken ad, FREAKING FUNNY!!!
i was luaghing for 20 minutes watching that stupid ad, damn lame man!!!
"Nah, take la!?"...hehehe

King of the roads..almost =))

I pawn the roads man!! Muahahaha..i've just finished clocking in 8 hours of driving and now i'm eligible to take the test. YES!!! I'm gonna take the mock test or QTI on sat and if i pass i'll be able to take the test somewhere within the week. Woohoo!!! Righteous!!

Other then that the holidays prove to be rather useless. I think i've managed to finish one add math kertas 1. The rest of the time has been evenly divided between playing ps2 and tv. I'm not a big believer on study breaks but i have a feeling that i'ma have to start using the holidays for revision before i'm screwed.

My mum smsed me the other day from amsterdam. Says she's fine and having a great time. Yeah, well done mum, while i'm sitting in the living room watching reruns of the Simpson's. Fantastic, you know, i somehow wish i had went on that trip with my mum. It'll be a whole lot more interesting than sitting in the living room watching Homer getting drunk while the Quick-e-mart gets robbed by the SAME person. At least she's bringing home chocolates.=)

Went out with my dad today to get me a new putter, mines pretty much screwed, can't putt staright if my life depended on it. Neways, for the FIRST time in my life, highways were empty. Seriously empty man. There were probally one or two cars but that was about it. Its pretty scary if ya think bout it. I mean, its KL, since when are the streets empty. But i suppose it was good, or else i'd be stuck in the jam. So i got this kick ass putter (its for golf..incase you aren't familiar with golf lingo) and a new pair of golf shoes. Righteous!!

Liverpool lost, AGAIN. Its getting really annoying now, especially when you've got people like Justin messaging you all the time to remind you. Whats wrost is that liverpool lost to man u, MANCHESTER BLARDY UNITED of all teams. *sigh* I was really hoping liverpool would win this one, not only cause they could use the points since their 11th on the league now but with the win came serious bragging rights, i mean SERIOUS bragging right and probally FOR ONCE i wouldn't have to listen to Justin. But....its just a sad story.

It seems the haze it getting better. Maybe the stupid bastards in Sumatera finally pitied us, after all, we're the ones suffocating. I just don't get it, if ya can't stop them why don't you just kill those bastards, the world'd be better off without them. Fuiyo..sound like Hitler man. =) But then again i SUPPOSE killing IS bad. If ya look at it,its kinda stupid cause it happens year in year out and you'd think the Malaysian goverment would at least have the balls to address the matter instead of just giving us the IPU of each city.(wow...) Meh, then again half of them are probally busy taking bribes while the others just like sitting in their big ass offices.*sigh* And Malaysians, what can we do but wait for the IPU to sky rocket so we can at least get a holiday out of this ordeal.

I guess thats bout it for now. Had a great time last Friday =)). So till next time...

p.s...try reading "State of Fear" or "Airframe" by Micheal Crichton, really good.

RIGHTEOUS!!

Ola mi amigo! School was retarded, practically half the class was absent. Its like they just decided to declare themselves absent and just not come to school! Now i'm starting to wonder why i didn't do the same! Thomas you moron! I practically just sat in class and warmed up the seats and now i can't skip school on friday cause i need to go collect my progress sheet. Wake up at 6 in the morning then leave at 12 just to collect the progress report, what a blardy waste of time..*sigh*

So its official, the post examination activities are on now. Its the time of year where students can run like chickens and bark like a dog at the same time, unless your in form 5 ofcourse in which you, me included of course, will be subjected to the sidelines, becoming mere admirers. I kinda miss those times, but then again, i knew the time would come where i would eventually have to stand by the sidelines and watch it all pass. I really have no regrets, i've played my heart out during the post examinations for the past four years and i suppose time was up.

ONE MORE MONTH BABY!!!! Thats right, tomorrow, it'll OFFICIALLY one more month before the SPM. I'm honestly kinda excited, i can't wait for it to be over. It however seems as though more and more people are turning a bit lop-sided. I suppose its just strees.

On a lighter note my mom has offcially left for europe. She's going on a 10 day trip with my aunt who btw, has never been outstation except for singapore in her life. Initially i was supposed to accompany my mum but due to unfortunate circumstances namely the SPM i couldn't so now my aunt is filling my place. They'll be going to all the hot spots which i think i've pretty much been to. I told her to buy back chocs, although i'm pretty sure she'd do it whether i tell her too or not. She says in europe, the only thing worth buying in chocs and quite frankly i tend to agree. I think the only place she's gonna go to whcih i haven't is the Lourve, but i've still got plenty of time left in me to visit the Lourve, so not really bothered. One day, i'ma gonna take a road trip all around europe and maybe the states. I think that'd be nice, i think everyone should have a good road trip at least once in their life.

Well then, thats bout it really, its back to studying i suppose, only got one month to go, but honestly nowadays i'm finding it very hard to just go and study, i mean, it was already hard to begin with but now its just gotten harder, i feel as if there isn't much point studying now but no matter, i shall persevere and study my ass of during the holidays..right after i finish watching season 3 of one tree hill..=)). So to all you guys out there, depending on who you are, i bid you either a good time studying or happy hols. Thomas over and out....

Trouble in paradise?

Salute! So i'm back, i've just survived hell on earth (so to speak la) and i say it ain't half that bad. Got back all of my results and i'm not terribly happy, actually rather disappointed but hey watcha gonna do, i suppose thats life eh. But no matter, its all done now, nothing much i can do. at least i'll be getting all A's for my forcast results except moral, damn moral, i don't even know why we study moral, its the most hypocritical subject.

Once again i appologise for my irregular blogs, these past few days have been rather interesating for me, lots of contemplation took place, won't bother with the details. I find sometimes we are eluded by a false sense of reality. We think we know ourselves but really we don't, i've been thinking bout what others see me as, or as what i think others see me as, its kinda weird really cause different people see me differently, but i suppose thats just how it is.

I've finally found out why zabs has been acting strange and relatively ignoring me lately, and if you ask me its really stupid but, nah, can't be bothered any more. Say what would your ideal paradise/fantasy/dream world be like? I think i'd like mine to be something out of the books, prolly like narnia, except i'm king and i can do all those kick ass kung-fu moves and all that voodoo shit and just kick everyone's ass chinese style..waacha!!!lmao...but i guess it'd be cool, sides i always wanted to do all those kick ass kung-fu moves and just fly in air like all 'em chinese movie dudes..LOOK!! IT'S A BIRD! NO IT'S A PLANE! NO ITS THOMAS!!! =)

So guess thats it for now, damn liverpool..can't even beat blackburn, AT HOME!! *sigh* I'll be hearing this on monday and yea i suppose emo month is over but hey, watcha gonna do, when it comes it comes eh. O.o..i've also signed myself up for prom, i don't really know why, since i was so hell bent on not going but i dunno, i still wanna go to golok tho..oi adam, you wanna go to golok or not??

Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit 'em, but remember it's a sin to kill a mockingbird- To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

I feel guilty. Ever wonder why hurting the people that mean most to you hurts the most, and how its harder to ask for forgiveness, how its harder to forgive. I think its cause eventhough we forgive the pain is always there, the lingering memory of that one incident. And the fact that you know the person just adds to the heartache.

So the study break is here, i don't think it'll do any of us any good really, cause i think all we'll do is just procrastinate and then wonder why we didn't study when we were so conviniently given the time to do so. But like any good boy, i've tried, failing quite miserably. I think i managed to down a chapter of chem before the computer caught my eye. I think i'm gonna go watch a movie. Maybe next week. While watching i'll try and ignore the fact that SPM's only a month away, i don't think i can, but hey, i can always try.

I wonder if we'll ever see each other again after this year. We always said we would keep in touch so we could always find out what the other was doing but i wonder, will we? Many friends were made during this time and many will be lost at the end of this year. And for those going to the same college next year, we're merely prolonging the inevitable goodbye, making it harder than it has to be. We always talked about our future, how we want to be this and study there and do great things, but i suppose its these minor things we never think of. I'm not saying that we should live together and ignore our future, but i can't help but wonder sometimes. I wonder if years down the road, i'll remember the people i used to call friends in sec. school, or will they remember me. Or if we see each other in the streets, will we greet each other the same way we do know. Or will we feel the same about a person we like 5 years form now. I suppose there really is only one way to find out...

Thats bout it, and i'm sorry, i don't know if you're reading but if you are, i'm sure you know who you are, i'm sorry, i have no explanations except that i should've told you the truth even if i knew that you'd kill me and prolly be mad at me for a long time, but i still should've.

"The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in"- Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom

Teachers are dicks. Just so you know. So i have a very distinct feeling that i did rather badly for math, either that or zabs is ignoring me for some apparent reason which i don't know. I don't think i did badly for math though, frankly i think i did rather well for math, but now i'm just not sure, either that, or, like i said, she's ignoring me for no apparent reason. You know it'd be fine if we weren't having our exams but now i'm just paranoid.

Yes!!!!Trials are ALMOST over, ALMOST i say. Still got bio 3 but thats really nothing much. And so starts the most dreadfull part of facing an exam, the results. Why do the teachers mark the papers so damn fast??!! Ah well better now than later. Over all it was alright i guess, although many would beg to differ. So thats that eh, next up, SPM.

I've decided not to go out and watch miami vice instead, i'ma stay at home and sleep. Funny, i was hell bent on going out after the trials a couple of weeks ago, but now, i just don't wanna. I think i've become some what isolated since the exams started.

So thats bout it really....btw i'm still very paranoid...i don't think i scrwed my math paper up...or did i?? The answer is yet to be revealed.....

I'm the only gay eskimo..

So, in the middle of the trials we are and 5 and 1/3 of the papers we have finished. Three days left we have till the misery is over. Okay so i clearly suck at this yoda thing but whatever. So everyone's pretty much in the trials frenzy. You got people proclaiming that their going to fail when we all know that their gonna pass, then we got people like shobahn. I think there wasn't a single paper in the whole of this week where he didn't sleep. I doubt that'll change come next week but hey ya never know...Personally i think i did alright. Not too bad really. I think i could've done better for add math but hey watcha gonna do. When you got people like WHYE LEON who only lost ONE MARK in his ENTIRE PAPER 2!!!!! *sigh**chokes random object* watcha gonna do. But all in all its pretty good. Got kimia n sej next week so it ain't over yet.

Personally i think this trials period has done some good for me. Its got me away from certain people and closer to others and it sorta changes you. Its given me space to think abit. Its ironic how in all the clattering and murmuring, i can find peace of mind. And in the midst of it, i've sorta come to a conclusion on a few things.

I still haven't decided what i'm gonna do thats gonna change my life after the trials but rest assure i'll think of something, mean while anyone wanna go out next friday?? I really wanna watch miami vice and quite frankly, i don't wanna watch it alone. Apparently its pretty good..

Well thats bout it, so till next time...

p.s
I'm the only gay eskimo,
I'm the only one i know,
I'm the only gay eskimo,
In my tribe....
-tenacious d-

haha..the song's damn funny man!!!!

O.o

TRIALS!!!!ARGH!!!!!=(((.....
Thats right trials baby, one and a half weeks of pure adrenaline rushing fun. Staying up till 1 in themorning cramming facts and data that would seemingly prove rather useless, to most of us anyway. Had add math paper 2, bm k2 and bio k1. Not too bad really. Add math was a bit of a killer (stupid sukatan membulat). I'm pretty sure i did my hukum linear and the other graph question correctly, can't say much bout my janjang though, but nevermind. Trials so far so good, but the wrost, yet to come. Man thrusdays gonna be one heck of a day.

Right, moving on, regarding my back drop, can't really do much bout it, rather i'm too lazy to do anything bout it, so i guess it stays, i'm sorry if you can't see properly..=(. Neways, came back super tired today, something bout exams, always get headaches after exams and nearly lost it and screamed at my mum. She kept pestering on how i have to score at least 6A's for my trials or something will happen. Something bout my cousin doing better or something like that. Note to everyone out there, when someone's trying to cramp bio and sejarah at the same time, NEVER lecture them on how well they need to do in the exams. Neways, i managed to walk away, so i'm relatively calm now.

So back to bio now, gotta study spermatogenesis and oogenesis...*sigh*..so i've decided that once the trials are over, i'm gonna do something drastic, potentially life changing, i don't know what yet, but mark my words, i will..muahahahaha!!!!
So till next time.....

Salute!!!So...i've come to a conclusion that one just can't stop thinking for even a micro second and achieve ultimate stoning bliss, either that or i just really haven't mastered the art of stoning. So, as usual, i've been thiking. What makes life, life?? What makes us, us?? Sounds rather retarded but seriously, think for a minute. What could we have possibly done to put ourselves in such a predicament? I have concluded that there are just too many factors that account for the outcome of ones "life". Too many variables. I sometimes wonder if it were feasible to pin point an exact moment in time and relate it to some occurance in your life. It'd be cool though, to just go back to that exact point in time and change it, impossible as it may sound. But on a more realistic note, its nice to just reflect on the choices we make sometimes. Contemplate on all the shoulda, woulda, coulda's. Why we fell in love or why we didn't, how we changed or how we could've.

On a lighter note, we had our interact farewell today. That's right, to all you interactors who didn't come tough luck man. It came really as a supprise. I honestly didn't expect it but, hey, it happened neways, so if any of you guys reading out there, thanks a bunch. It wasn't really much to brag about really, but then again the most beautifull things come in the simplest form. Had tons of pizza (ate 9 slices myself..personal best so far) so we ate till we can't eat no more. It was really nice of zabs really, despite the countless times i told her not to have it, she still made it happen. Another chapter closes, another is yet to open.

So its officially no longer emo month but study-up-late-till-u-get-baggy-eyes month. Yup, trials next week. Funnily, i don't really feel anything. Other than the very sian feeling that the exams are coming, i don't really feel much bout the exams, emotionless even. I guess its one of those querks. I tend not to feel stressed when i'm supposed to. I don't know wether thats good or not, but hey, thats me eh.

I've just realised that it's pointless to go to the prom, for me anyways.
1:i don't have a date, and no, i don't intend to ask anyone, and don't ask why
2: its totally over priced note, especially for those of us who don't have a date.
3:i just don't really feel up to it, i think i'ma take up that offer that lynnie made =)
But i can't help but feel sorry for sammie though. I mean after all, she organised the thing. I've heard quite a few people intend to botcott the event, cause, well, its expensive.

I've decided that during the hols, i'm gonna pick a week and go on a cross country trip to golok. I dunno whats it bout golok thats got me facinated, but i just really wanna go to golok. If any of you wanna join me your more than welcomed to p.s. virginity not guaranteed =)). So thats it from me for now, have fun studying guys and i'll see you in the exam hall =))).
So till next time.....

HELLO PEOPLE OF THE UNIVERSE!!!!!! hehe...So i've been around stoning as usual lately and i just realised that no one visits my site anymore..save a few souls, noone actually visits my blog anymore nowadays. I feel sad. Either that or you guys just drop by and refuse to tag, therefore i ask you aquestion, is it so hard to tag?? Just write a few words, even a simple hello would do, its not like your gonna write an entire essay.

It rained again today, and i didn't go to tuition agian today. Honestly, i dunno why i'm taking tuition classes anymore. Its not like i really need them. But i suppose if you've been taking tuition classes since standard 3 it kinda kicks in as a necessity. So i got a new pencil box. Well actually i got it sometime ago. To some of you this seems rather trivial, but i must tell you that i haven't changed my pencil box since i was in darjah 5. An extraordinarily long life for a pencil box eh. I just don't see the point in changing something that works. I mean, it works, why change it. Besides i've grown rather fond of my pencil box. Come to think of it, it has been through UPSR, PMR and (well pretty soon neways) SPM. Hah..take that you pencil box junnkies who change your pencil box so often that you spend more money on them then your underwear!!! I wonder if theres a place where they have professional pencil box fixers....do let me know if you find one.But inevitably, i will change my pencil box. I'm just waiting for the right moment, a significant moment, almost life-changing, like a tornado to hit my house, or maybe Bill Gates to give me a gazillion bucks. At this rate i'm gonna have to wait till my pencil box disintegrates and turns all powdery and stuff, but hey..ya never know.

So thats pretty much it...my 10 mins break is almost over and i'ma go back to bio now.So..till next time....

So so..

Okay, so i've been sitting on my chair staring at my com thinking of what to blog for ages now, and i guess i finally have something to blog about. I think, i don't know, i think i do, so i'll just get on with it. Right first things first, ARGHH DAMN ITS COLD IN MY ROOM!!! Right then. Okay, so i've been thinking alot lately and stoning lately and apprently not studying enough, but anyways, what would you do if you had to choose between your father or your mother? Quite frankly i don't know really. I've been having these really vivid dreams about death and really unsavoury things happening. Its really got me thinking. There's this dream where i was driving and i wound up at some ulu kampung and i knocked down an old man and he died. And i was running away from the kampung people who were looking around for me. Yea, i know sounds like some 3rd rate CSI show but it was much less funnier then it sounds. Sometimes i get the feeling that we just seem to exist, that were just part of the world, and if we go, it doesn't really matter, cause the world will go on and we'll just be replaced. Sometimes, were too consumed with the big picture that we eventually loose track of the little things, things that make life worth living for, things that make us real, that make us live instead of just existing.

I've been thinking about couples alot lately. Its great ain't it, to have someone to hold on too, to talk too, to share your thoughts with. But sometimes i wonder if its real. I mean, yea, i know your an item and all, but i seriously wonder what defines a couple?? I mean is just being together when we happen to see you in school or outside really enough?? Does hanging out together all the time count?? Intriguing eh?? I see so many couples, but i really question their level of commitment. I mean yea we all SAY we'd to just about ANYTHING for her (eh guys??) but do we ACTUALLY mean it?? We say so often that we LOVE her but do we?? Personally i think half you guys out there are just for show. To all you couples, don't come chasing me with a parang just yet, but ask yourself do you really love her?? Do you think of her all the time?? Do you regret every moment not spent with her?? Of course i'm not saying that everyone out there is faking it, but, well, u get the point.

So apparently zabs cried eh. Well i don't really know what to make of it and i will just leave it at that. She's a tough cookie to crack, and quite frankly, i don't wanna try. Right so back to the question, what would you do if you had to choose, mom or dad?? I've been thinking bout it for quite sometime now (and no..nothings wrong with me, my families fine), and i've come to a conclusion that if that happens i'd prolly just disown myself. Cause i think its easier to just be seperated then to just choose. Funny eh, i think its an 'only child' kinda thing. Not expecting any feed back from this Q n A but hey, feel free. I've noticed that a whole bunch of ppl have been feeling emo really. Els, lynn, Stef, and a whole bunch of other ppl which i don't really know but it was great reading ur blog neways =), and i think i'ma call this month "emo month"..yay!!

So thats about it, i've just realised that this may be the logest post i've ever written but hey, who gives a flying shit neways. So to all ya emo ppl out there, happy emo-ing. To all ya'll who haven't been infected yet, there's still 27 days. And to all ya'll emo ppl, if ya ever need someone to talk to i'm always free and i swear its not cause i want free gossip, but if ya really find that life sucks and ya need someone to talk to ( eh els..i sit next to you in case you forgot) find me, call me, CRY OUT MY NAME, and i shall answer..hehe..so till next time....

Okay, so i'm alive, apparently. So its been a while eh?? For my undying fans sorry to keep you waiting ; not that I have any but hey, who cares. Yup, its been i think round 4 months since my last blog. Talk about a hiatus eh. So i suppose my faithfull fans would like an explanation eh. Well you see, my computer has been busted for at least 3 months so that explains the most part of it, and as for the past month, i dunno, jus didn't really feel like blogging, but then again i rarely feel like blogging anyway, and i probably shouldn't cause of the trials and all that but what the heck eh; sides, its been a while.
So lets see, 'merdeka' i guess. I'm finally retired, both as a prefect and interactor, but then again once an interactor always one eh, same goes with prefects i suppose but hell i won't be doing any more assemblies or worrying about any more projects, so that must count as something eh. But honestly, its been a bitter sweet year for me. I've been put under alot of *&^%$$# lately but hey, i'm fine eh, just like how i always am. But yeah, we had the interact installation or farewell, depends on how you look at it and besides the sketch (SUUUPPPEEER LAME) it was alright i suppose(thanks dudes for da support, much love man), but zabs was at it again. For some reason she's been really, i won't say evil, but rather ignorant and childish towards me, thing is i don't really know why. Why?? Its really been bothering me lately. I mean i know i screwed up on thrus and all being late but seriously whats up?? One of those life mysteries i suppose, rather annoying if you ask me o.O. She should be like salfy man, learn how to detach. But neways, i suppose i can let it bother me much, besides she's teachin me maths. Wed was also moronic though. I had this entire speech writen in bm...BM!!! (thanks elsa for helpin) just to realise that i din't have to do it. WTF??!!! *annoyed* and best thing is they told me that i was supposed to be emcee instead. Yeah, fantastic, all he needs is one days notice, don't mind that i have trials and he has to study. But i suppose it turned out alright. At least fat P thanked me later.
Right with regards to the question posted on the previous post, i swear i wasn't talking bout my personal life and was merely posting a random question so as to see if anyone was ACTUALLY reading my blog, turns out people do read my blog and i am not i reapeat NOT in love or have a crush on any FORM 4 GIRL ( fantastic mates, i dunno where u guys come up with these random facts). Having said that i've recently realised that couples are springing up like bunnies in easter. I have a theory that i will not share with you as it may anger a few of you so i have decided to keep it to myself and have just realised that this line is totally useless but i'm too lazy to delete it so i'll just let it stay, but if you are interested just ask me, i'd be more than happy to share it with you. Anyway, the prom hype has really kicked in eventhough the trails haven't even begun. I mean everywhere, you hear people wanting to ask this dude out or have already asked. I suppose it shouldn't bother me but somehow it does. Something about not wanting to wind up alone i suppose, come to think of it, its pretty scary not to mention rather pathetic.
Well guess thats about it. Its been a pleasure blogging again and i suppose you can expect more frequent blogs in shorter time spans, i hope. Before i go, i'd like to give a shout out to all ya new and old love birds, you know who you are, and quite frankly so do i, may you always cherish the person next to you and may you never let anything come between you and let the shadow of loniness cover your souls. Cherish every moment and enjoy every second for you never know when it might end. To you aspiring love heads, there's enough drama in the school, don't you think so??