in memory off..

loneliness is a very common word i'd say...bored "aiyo i sooo lonely la..no frens to tok to"..no money "aiyo..my dompet so lonely lah..no money to fren wif my dompet..belly depressing leh"..but i wonder what a lonely soul would say to its owner.."why am i alone..why doesn't anyone talk to me..isit cause i'm weird..what isit??".."why doesn't anyone bother about me..would it be better if i'd just die?? would it be better if i just cease my existance??"..we happy people don't realise it but there are lots of lonely people out there..people thinking about death every second of the day..we say "so??!! who cares??!! they don't wanna make friends their problem la"..but have we stopped and thought for a second it could be our fault probably..that we may have neglected them..subjected them to such unearthly and alien thoughts..thoughts which we happy people take for granted..i have..have you??
i once knew someone who suffered from the same problem..neglected by his parents neglected by everyone else in the world for that matter..he was a quiet kid..i can't say he was a nice kid or a kind one or a polite one cause i was one of the "them" always insulting him always in bully mode..i never really cared what the consequences were..and after i left primary skool naturally i lost contact of him..a few weeks ago..i had a reunion with some old buddies..when i asked about this boy they said he had died..i asked how and they said he couldn't take it no more..hung himself in school after one of the exams..i was shocked..i didn't believe it..but guess what..it's real..i didn't sleep for nights..i was scared that he would haunt me at first but i began to wonder..could i have done this to him..maybe if i just talked to him..maybe if i just had told my friends to just stop and just....
nasi sudah menjadi bubur..hmph..funny how that proverb just fits into the whole equation..i just want everyone to know that we are humans in every way possible and that we all deserve the same kind of treatment and the same kind of punishment..another persons food should not be anothers poison..don't make the same mistake i did..having a soul tell you that you might have caused his death..up till now i still think bout him and wondered what i coule have done and that guilt will probably never be forgotten but i will make it up to him i want to make it up to him thats why i wrote this blog..to hopefully save others like him by going straight to the source..if you're one of them please just stop, just stop..don't find out years later that you could have caused his death and live with that guilt please..