I feel guilty. Ever wonder why hurting the people that mean most to you hurts the most, and how its harder to ask for forgiveness, how its harder to forgive. I think its cause eventhough we forgive the pain is always there, the lingering memory of that one incident. And the fact that you know the person just adds to the heartache.

So the study break is here, i don't think it'll do any of us any good really, cause i think all we'll do is just procrastinate and then wonder why we didn't study when we were so conviniently given the time to do so. But like any good boy, i've tried, failing quite miserably. I think i managed to down a chapter of chem before the computer caught my eye. I think i'm gonna go watch a movie. Maybe next week. While watching i'll try and ignore the fact that SPM's only a month away, i don't think i can, but hey, i can always try.

I wonder if we'll ever see each other again after this year. We always said we would keep in touch so we could always find out what the other was doing but i wonder, will we? Many friends were made during this time and many will be lost at the end of this year. And for those going to the same college next year, we're merely prolonging the inevitable goodbye, making it harder than it has to be. We always talked about our future, how we want to be this and study there and do great things, but i suppose its these minor things we never think of. I'm not saying that we should live together and ignore our future, but i can't help but wonder sometimes. I wonder if years down the road, i'll remember the people i used to call friends in sec. school, or will they remember me. Or if we see each other in the streets, will we greet each other the same way we do know. Or will we feel the same about a person we like 5 years form now. I suppose there really is only one way to find out...

Thats bout it, and i'm sorry, i don't know if you're reading but if you are, i'm sure you know who you are, i'm sorry, i have no explanations except that i should've told you the truth even if i knew that you'd kill me and prolly be mad at me for a long time, but i still should've.

"The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in"- Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom