So so..

Okay, so i've been sitting on my chair staring at my com thinking of what to blog for ages now, and i guess i finally have something to blog about. I think, i don't know, i think i do, so i'll just get on with it. Right first things first, ARGHH DAMN ITS COLD IN MY ROOM!!! Right then. Okay, so i've been thinking alot lately and stoning lately and apprently not studying enough, but anyways, what would you do if you had to choose between your father or your mother? Quite frankly i don't know really. I've been having these really vivid dreams about death and really unsavoury things happening. Its really got me thinking. There's this dream where i was driving and i wound up at some ulu kampung and i knocked down an old man and he died. And i was running away from the kampung people who were looking around for me. Yea, i know sounds like some 3rd rate CSI show but it was much less funnier then it sounds. Sometimes i get the feeling that we just seem to exist, that were just part of the world, and if we go, it doesn't really matter, cause the world will go on and we'll just be replaced. Sometimes, were too consumed with the big picture that we eventually loose track of the little things, things that make life worth living for, things that make us real, that make us live instead of just existing.

I've been thinking about couples alot lately. Its great ain't it, to have someone to hold on too, to talk too, to share your thoughts with. But sometimes i wonder if its real. I mean, yea, i know your an item and all, but i seriously wonder what defines a couple?? I mean is just being together when we happen to see you in school or outside really enough?? Does hanging out together all the time count?? Intriguing eh?? I see so many couples, but i really question their level of commitment. I mean yea we all SAY we'd to just about ANYTHING for her (eh guys??) but do we ACTUALLY mean it?? We say so often that we LOVE her but do we?? Personally i think half you guys out there are just for show. To all you couples, don't come chasing me with a parang just yet, but ask yourself do you really love her?? Do you think of her all the time?? Do you regret every moment not spent with her?? Of course i'm not saying that everyone out there is faking it, but, well, u get the point.

So apparently zabs cried eh. Well i don't really know what to make of it and i will just leave it at that. She's a tough cookie to crack, and quite frankly, i don't wanna try. Right so back to the question, what would you do if you had to choose, mom or dad?? I've been thinking bout it for quite sometime now (and no..nothings wrong with me, my families fine), and i've come to a conclusion that if that happens i'd prolly just disown myself. Cause i think its easier to just be seperated then to just choose. Funny eh, i think its an 'only child' kinda thing. Not expecting any feed back from this Q n A but hey, feel free. I've noticed that a whole bunch of ppl have been feeling emo really. Els, lynn, Stef, and a whole bunch of other ppl which i don't really know but it was great reading ur blog neways =), and i think i'ma call this month "emo month"..yay!!

So thats about it, i've just realised that this may be the logest post i've ever written but hey, who gives a flying shit neways. So to all ya emo ppl out there, happy emo-ing. To all ya'll who haven't been infected yet, there's still 27 days. And to all ya'll emo ppl, if ya ever need someone to talk to i'm always free and i swear its not cause i want free gossip, but if ya really find that life sucks and ya need someone to talk to ( eh els..i sit next to you in case you forgot) find me, call me, CRY OUT MY NAME, and i shall answer..hehe..so till next time....